Monday, March 27, 2006
When insomnia is a good thing
A friend sent me this. This is one instance when muttering Bipasha Bipasha Bipasha (replace with your choice of item girl / guy) might have been so much better. Or perhaps that is what this chap did mumble, and got his words twisted around by an angry wife... This got me thinking about what would happen if the courts started taking action on the things we mumble when we're asleep...
A new clause will have to be added to the Miranda rights - whatever you mumble when you're asleep in your cell can and will be used against you in a court of law. You can get your lawyer to sleep with you, or one will be provided for you.
Interrogations will no longer feature those old bores (the good cop & the bad cop) - the most respected interrogators will now be the cops who can get you to fall sleep... Their expertise will lie in choosing the right material for the right person: Engineering text books for some, old issues of The Economist (or new ones) for others, and for the especially hardened cases perhaps even a lullaby (police brutality taken to unimagined extremes: picture David Caruso wearing sun-glasses and posing with his hands on his hips, giving you that sideways glance and singing a lullaby - I'd confess to anything under such duress!) The good cop'll now ask you if he can get you a nice warm glass of milk. Overnight, insomniacs will become the most difficult criminals to crack.
A new clause will have to be added to the Miranda rights - whatever you mumble when you're asleep in your cell can and will be used against you in a court of law. You can get your lawyer to sleep with you, or one will be provided for you.
Interrogations will no longer feature those old bores (the good cop & the bad cop) - the most respected interrogators will now be the cops who can get you to fall sleep... Their expertise will lie in choosing the right material for the right person: Engineering text books for some, old issues of The Economist (or new ones) for others, and for the especially hardened cases perhaps even a lullaby (police brutality taken to unimagined extremes: picture David Caruso wearing sun-glasses and posing with his hands on his hips, giving you that sideways glance and singing a lullaby - I'd confess to anything under such duress!) The good cop'll now ask you if he can get you a nice warm glass of milk. Overnight, insomniacs will become the most difficult criminals to crack.
